He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
