We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
