: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
