Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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