We're like a lot better than the average bears
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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