he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
