so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
