Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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