Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
