She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
