I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize