i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
