Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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