k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize