if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
