yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
