I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
