is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
