They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Everyone says I win the strip club
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
