I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
