i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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