Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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