Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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