So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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