This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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