if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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