I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
