Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize