somebody snuck up and got me drunk
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
