Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
