i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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