Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
