Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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