Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
