Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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