my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
