a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
