Me. At least after what I've been through.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
