also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
