Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
