You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
