Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
