i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
