That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
