Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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