You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
