Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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