well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
