i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
