no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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