how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize