If i come over, it means nothing
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
thus making me awesome and them whores
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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