Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
