so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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