OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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