we have pet lesbian snakes
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
