ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
