i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
