we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
