My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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