You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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