New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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