none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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