That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
