even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
