Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
