So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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