I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
